WTF Hulk Hogan Sex Tape

So apparently a Hulk Hogan sex tape with (maybe) his bestie’s ex-wife was casually leaked and people are getting hot and bothered about it. Uhh, why?

His moustache makes it look like his nose is leaking. He shares a name with a man who turns green when angry and still manages to be the Hulk we’d be less willing to bang.

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But let us address the real issues here:

1. Does he or does he not keep the bandana during sex? Does he change it into a red lace bandana to set the mood for sexy-time?

2. You are Hulk Hogan. Despite being a proud member of the HOLY FUGLY club, some women are still desperate enough willing to sleep with you for fame, money or because they have a weird bleached asian hair fetish. Why would you go for the woman your BFF rejected? Fugly people stick together, so I assume your bro is maximum a 4. And he is not a rich, famous, non-green Hulk. And his ex-wife must be fugly too. If you’re gonna do a sex tape, do it with Scarlett Johansson please.

3. How did we find out about this?

Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

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Royal Family Jewels

Normally, we are all for complaining. But frankly, we don’t see anything wrong with some members of the Royal Family exposing some body parts that normally shouldn’t be seen: Kate’s boobies, Prince Harry’s everything, Prince William’s bald spot, etc. Those are the hot royals you wanna get with.

Start worrying when fugly royal mother-son duo Prince Charles and Queen Elizabeth start showing their badonkadonks.

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What other Royal’s jewels would YOU love (or hate) to see?

Opening Curtains in the Morning

I hate opening the curtains in the morning because (1) it means I am no longer sleeping, (2) if it’s sunny out, it makes the whole room look like health and (3) I can see the mess in my room (which makes me uncomfortable, but I’m more lazy than uncomfortable).

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Walmart

Did you know that Walmart sells food now? Yeah, that place has EVERYTHING. Except for the stuff I actually want to buy. Here’s some advice to you, Walmart. If you want to be cool, start selling some of these:

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Exhibit A: because after seeing this picture, you will never be able to look at your towel the same way again.

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Exhibit B: because in this multitasking generation, you just can’t afford to use two hands to cut a pizza anymore.

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Exhibit C: because this is what every girl needs.

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