Extra Hate for Bus Drivers

Ok. Not all of them are bad. Not all deserve hate. But my God have I met some terrible ones.

There is a certain air of superiority they carry. They are placed in a position of semi-authority and they think they can be jerks because of it. They close the door in your face. They leave even when they see you desperately running for it, Phoebe-style.

I mean, come on! An extra 5 seconds won’t kill you! And it’s not like buses, at least where I live, follow schedules. In fact, the schedules seem to be mere suggestions. Also, did you know they REFUSE to give you change? If you pay for a 4 dollar bus ride – which is already absurd – with a 20 dollar bill, you will not get 16 dollars back. I don’t know about you, but I call that stealing. But I will leave the attack on the whole transportation system for another time.

The focus here is simple: bus drivers are the worst.

EXHIBIT A:

The other day, I was running late for a class and saw that by a happy coincidence, a bus was arriving at a bus stop very close to me. I normally don’t take that bus because my class is a short walking distance, but I was late and I actually enjoy that particular class (probably because it is not part of my major). Anyways, I see that the people at the bus stop have gotten in and the bus door has closed BUT – as luck would have it – the lights were still red! I ran for it (which I am normally against) and made it!

Or so I thought. I knocked on the door, the bus driver looked at me, shook her STUPID FUCKING DUMBASS head, waited a couple more seconds for the lights to turn green AND FUCKING LEFT ME THERE. Are you serious? You couldn’t open the door?!

 

This is similar to what happened to me. But mine is worse.

If it wasn’t for the other passengers (and because I am a decent person) I would have prayed her brakes went out going down the hill. Yes, like that song.

 

EXHIBIT B:

After a 15 minute walk from my University to the train station and a 50 minute train ride, I still have to take a 20 minute bus ride (followed by a 10 minute walk home). Yes, I live in the middle of nowhere. Which is why there are only about 10 people on the 20 minute bus ride at any given time. So although there are predetermined stops, all bus drivers drop you off wherever the fuck you want (as long as it is within the bus route). All except one fat, old, bald fucking douchebag, which did not allow me to get off where I normally do (it’s a street corner with a stop sign, so he has to stop anyways) and left me three streets away, in the dark, in the rain, in the cold. FUCK HIM.

 

I could go on, but this post is getting pretty long and I’m getting pretty angry. People next to me are starting to look worried.

 

What are YOUR terrible experiences with bus drivers? You know you have some!

 

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Bus Etiquette

I live quite far from the place I study. Therefore, every day, I see people committing the infractions commented below. And I hate it. So I decided it was time for someone to publish some sort of manual on Bus Etiquette (although it applies to pretty much any sort of public transportation method). Obviously, some of these don’t apply if the bus is pretty empty.

Sitting down:

1) No, you schoolbag/briefcase/shopping bag does NOT need its own seat. Did you buy an extra ticket? Does it have its own monthly bus pass? No? Then it doesn’t need a seat more than I do. Put it on your lap, on the fucking floor… wherever, or I WILL sit on it.

2) TURN THE VOLUME DOWN! If I can hear the lyrics of the song you are listening to through the sound of the motor/chit-chatter, with my headphones on, listening to music of my own, three seats behind you, there is a problem. Just because you listen to Nickelback terrible music, doesn’t mean that I have to listen to it too.

3) Don’t yell. The person is sitting next to you. I don’t wanna hear about your sad life and lame inside jokes. Also, if it’s morning, STFU – I am trying to pretend I didn’t just wake up. If it’s Monday morning, I will cut you.

4) You paid for one ticket, you get one seat. Not 2 seats, not 1.5 seats, not 1.25 seats not even 1.00001 seats. If you can’t fit into one seat, start dieting or pay for 2. Or like, take buses at times no one takes them. Also, do your best not to touch me.

Standing up:

Standing up on a bus ride sucks. But it is no excuse not to behave well.

1) Your crotch/butt should be pointed at the back of the bus or at the front; NOT at my face. Even The Police said so: Don’t stand, don’t stand so, don’t stand so close to me.

2) Use deodorant. This is not specific to buses, but it is important, especially during rush hour.

3) Move to the back of the bus! Other people are trying to get in, and you are in their fucking way!

4) Take your bag off. Just like it doesn’t need its own seat, your bag does not need to take up standing space.

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