Eye Exam Rant

I have taken my fair share of tests in my life, including, but not limited to:

1) Elementary school speed tests: a ridiculous test our math teacher made us take every Friday, the point of which was to solve random mathematical equations as fast as possible. I can’t remember finishing one of those

2) Back-to-back finals in University, meaning 6 hours of answering painfully vague questions and praying the professor agrees with something you said.

3) Personality quizzes which, I am convinced, tell you what kind of person you would like to be, more than what kind of person you are. Come on! Admit it! You always picked the answer you found was more sensible…

But none of those could compare, in degree of difficulty, to eye exams.

Eye Exam In English Please

It goes something like this:

– Is THIS better or THAT?

– Hmm I don’t know

– Come on now, let me show you again. 1 or 2?

At this point we are almost always forced to lie and pick one of the choices. I usually pick 2. I will never know for sure if the glasses I am prescribed are actually optimal for my condition.

Read the fourth line please, says the doctor. Damn it, I think to myself, Is that an O or a D? Maybe its a Q? And although I know it is ok to get the answer wrong, I have the urge to get it right. I KNOW HOW TO READ OK? I just don’t have bionic eyes.

Finally, there is the little green light you stare at, waiting for the moment the doctor will push the button that will cause wind to blow into your eyes and give you a small heart attack. This is supposed to determine your ocular pressure or something. I think it’s a device invented by optometrists to make their lives more fun at our expense.

How are YOUR experiences with eye doctors/exams?

Leave a comment


  1. maryfaithie

     /  October 3, 2012

    I HATE eye exams! The D, Q, and O. You’re so right, they’re all the same. And then you don’t want to say anything because you’re guessing, and if you guess correctly then your prescription will be all wrong and it’s pointless! Stressful. So after the trip to the eye doctor, it’s time to book a deep tissue massage.


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