Bus Etiquette

I live quite far from the place I study. Therefore, every day, I see people committing the infractions commented below. And I hate it. So I decided it was time for someone to publish some sort of manual on Bus Etiquette (although it applies to pretty much any sort of public transportation method). Obviously, some of these don’t apply if the bus is pretty empty.

Sitting down:

1) No, you schoolbag/briefcase/shopping bag does NOT need its own seat. Did you buy an extra ticket? Does it have its own monthly bus pass? No? Then it doesn’t need a seat more than I do. Put it on your lap, on the fucking floor… wherever, or I WILL sit on it.

2) TURN THE VOLUME DOWN! If I can hear the lyrics of the song you are listening to through the sound of the motor/chit-chatter, with my headphones on, listening to music of my own, three seats behind you, there is a problem. Just because you listen to Nickelback terrible music, doesn’t mean that I have to listen to it too.

3) Don’t yell. The person is sitting next to you. I don’t wanna hear about your sad life and lame inside jokes. Also, if it’s morning, STFU – I am trying to pretend I didn’t just wake up. If it’s Monday morning, I will cut you.

4) You paid for one ticket, you get one seat. Not 2 seats, not 1.5 seats, not 1.25 seats not even 1.00001 seats. If you can’t fit into one seat, start dieting or pay for 2. Or like, take buses at times no one takes them. Also, do your best not to touch me.

Standing up:

Standing up on a bus ride sucks. But it is no excuse not to behave well.

1) Your crotch/butt should be pointed at the back of the bus or at the front; NOT at my face. Even The Police said so: Don’t stand, don’t stand so, don’t stand so close to me.

2) Use deodorant. This is not specific to buses, but it is important, especially during rush hour.

3) Move to the back of the bus! Other people are trying to get in, and you are in their fucking way!

4) Take your bag off. Just like it doesn’t need its own seat, your bag does not need to take up standing space.

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