So apparently a Hulk Hogan sex tape with (maybe) his bestie’s ex-wife was casually leaked and people are getting hot and bothered about it. Uhh, why?

His moustache makes it look like his nose is leaking. He shares a name with a man who turns green when angry and still manages to be the Hulk we’d be less willing to bang.

But let us address the real issues here:

1. Does he or does he not keep the bandana during sex? Does he change it into a red lace bandana to set the mood for sexy-time?

2. You are Hulk Hogan. Despite being a proud member of the HOLY FUGLY club, some women are still desperate enough willing to sleep with you for fame, money or because they have a weird bleached asian hair fetish. Why would you go for the woman your BFF rejected? Fugly people stick together, so I assume your bro is maximum a 4. And he is not a rich, famous, non-green Hulk. And his ex-wife must be fugly too. If you’re gonna do a sex tape, do it with Scarlett Johansson please.

3. How did we find out about this?

Let us know your thoughts in the comments!