Stuff We Love to Love: Dutch Men

They are tall, they are blonde, they have blue eyes (Hello Rygos lookalikes!!!). They have unbelievably sexy accents when they speak English and they have a Queen – i.e.: they are basically British but better looking and with better teeth.

Ok, so he is not blonde. But, really, who cares?

BONUS: they live in the Netherlands, which not only sounds magical, but looks magical too. As Joey from Friends once said, “the Netherlands is this make-believe place where Peter Pan and Tinkerbell come from.”

Tulips in the Netherlands.

Extra Hate for Bus Drivers

Ok. Not all of them are bad. Not all deserve hate. But my God have I met some terrible ones.

There is a certain air of superiority they carry. They are placed in a position of semi-authority and they think they can be jerks because of it. They close the door in your face. They leave even when they see you desperately running for it, Phoebe-style.

I mean, come on! An extra 5 seconds won’t kill you! And it’s not like buses, at least where I live, follow schedules. In fact, the schedules seem to be mere suggestions. Also, did you know they REFUSE to give you change? If you pay for a 4 dollar bus ride – which is already absurd – with a 20 dollar bill, you will not get 16 dollars back. I don’t know about you, but I call that stealing. But I will leave the attack on the whole transportation system for another time.

The focus here is simple: bus drivers are the worst.

EXHIBIT A:

The other day, I was running late for a class and saw that by a happy coincidence, a bus was arriving at a bus stop very close to me. I normally don’t take that bus because my class is a short walking distance, but I was late and I actually enjoy that particular class (probably because it is not part of my major). Anyways, I see that the people at the bus stop have gotten in and the bus door has closed BUT – as luck would have it – the lights were still red! I ran for it (which I am normally against) and made it!

Or so I thought. I knocked on the door, the bus driver looked at me, shook her STUPID FUCKING DUMBASS head, waited a couple more seconds for the lights to turn green AND FUCKING LEFT ME THERE. Are you serious? You couldn’t open the door?!

 

This is similar to what happened to me. But mine is worse.

If it wasn’t for the other passengers (and because I am a decent person) I would have prayed her brakes went out going down the hill. Yes, like that song.

 

EXHIBIT B:

After a 15 minute walk from my University to the train station and a 50 minute train ride, I still have to take a 20 minute bus ride (followed by a 10 minute walk home). Yes, I live in the middle of nowhere. Which is why there are only about 10 people on the 20 minute bus ride at any given time. So although there are predetermined stops, all bus drivers drop you off wherever the fuck you want (as long as it is within the bus route). All except one fat, old, bald fucking douchebag, which did not allow me to get off where I normally do (it’s a street corner with a stop sign, so he has to stop anyways) and left me three streets away, in the dark, in the rain, in the cold. FUCK HIM.

 

I could go on, but this post is getting pretty long and I’m getting pretty angry. People next to me are starting to look worried.

 

What are YOUR terrible experiences with bus drivers? You know you have some!

 

Halloween Costume Ideas

Happy (late) Halloween! If you have parties to go to this weekend and don’t know what to wear, we’ve got some ideas for you!

1. Charlie Sheen

Yeah, he has been out of the radar for a while and this costume has been overdone in the past, but with the epic failure Two and a Half Men has been without him, it is a good time to remind people how good they used to have it. All you need to do is wear a bowling shirt and cargo pants, take a lot of drugs and yell at every one you see that you are “Hallowinning!”

2. Slutty food

Why be a conventional slutty nurse/cop/devil when you can be Slutty Corn?

OR, if you are feeling extra hot, be a little wild and go for Slutty Popcorn!

However, if you are trying to appeal to men, we all know how much they like sandwiches. That is why you should give Slutty Hamburger a try:

Ok, enough pictures of slutty food.

3. This Thing

Taken from It’s okay that you’re a Dumbass (on facebook)

We have no idea what this is. It is ugly, scary, disturbing and cannot be unseen. We apologize in advance.

What are YOU going (or went) as for Halloween this year? What are some of the weirdest costumes YOU’ve ever seen? Let us know in the comments!

WTF having to pee and being thirsty

Sorry for the over share, but right now, I REALLY have to pee. And I am REALLY thirsty. And I can’t pee because I can’t stop going to class after class after class. And I can’t drink because I have to pee.

Midterm Hell – Sorry for Lack of Posts

Sorry about not posting lately. We have been swamped with midterms. We should post soon. Don’t hate us though. That’s kind of our gimmick.

WTF Hulk Hogan Sex Tape

So apparently a Hulk Hogan sex tape with (maybe) his bestie’s ex-wife was casually leaked and people are getting hot and bothered about it. Uhh, why?

His moustache makes it look like his nose is leaking. He shares a name with a man who turns green when angry and still manages to be the Hulk we’d be less willing to bang.

Image

But let us address the real issues here:

1. Does he or does he not keep the bandana during sex? Does he change it into a red lace bandana to set the mood for sexy-time?

2. You are Hulk Hogan. Despite being a proud member of the HOLY FUGLY club, some women are still desperate enough willing to sleep with you for fame, money or because they have a weird bleached asian hair fetish. Why would you go for the woman your BFF rejected? Fugly people stick together, so I assume your bro is maximum a 4. And he is not a rich, famous, non-green Hulk. And his ex-wife must be fugly too. If you’re gonna do a sex tape, do it with Scarlett Johansson please.

3. How did we find out about this?

Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

WTF Fall Fashion

I don’t follow fashion much. But from what I have read during my extensive research (aka: this article. And some of this article) on this Fall’s fashion trends, to be stylish this fall you should dress like a boy. In hand me downs. From your older brother. Who is casually also a biker/Catwoman/Charlie’s Angel. Then, throw on some chunky knitted accessories and you are good to go!

OR, try dressing like the hunter from Snow White:

Oversized jacket? Check. Stylish hat? Check. Gloves? Check. Tights? Check. Ankle booties? You can’t see it here, but trust me: Check! BONUS: His hair is a super stylish bob!

I guess I will stay out of fashion for now. Except I quite like the ankle booties.

What are some fashion trends YOU hate?

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